Comments on: Oblivious

By: Abby

Abby — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 21:41:41 +0000

I was in somewhat of a similar situation, but not with a co-worker. My guy friend and I would meet up for happy hours and he had a girlfriend, so I always knew nothing would happen. (and I didn’t want it to). However, one day, out of the blue, he tried to make out with me. Actually, he did make out with me. Yeah, I let him (I blame this on me being lonely!) But, even after all of that, he still claims that his girlfriend is the one he wants to marry. This makes me think that perhaps he was looking for something (or, someone) to solidify the fact that his girlfriend is the one for him. Maybe your co-worker is trying to figure that out as well. Hopefully, he doesn’t try anything with you!

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:34:38 +0000

I am so the same way, very oblivious and even if someone points it out I shrug it off until that person finally does something and I’m like how in the WORLD did i miss that?! Hopefully, if its anything, its just a harmless crush and he is smart enough never to act on it.

By: BraceletSeeds

BraceletSeeds — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:50:49 +0000

Wow, I totally understand. I consider myself nice to everyone, boys and girls. But some guys automatically take it the wrong way if you’re nice to them. I really try to not come off as flirty by being too nice. I’ve learned that you just have to be a little reserved when talking to guys you don’t know very well.
Also, can a guy be friends with a girl he likes? I’ve never figured this one out since it elicits a heated discussion among anyone I ask. It seems that girls are pretty good at being friends with a guy they like without suffering too much. Or maybe that’s just me.

By: Smilf

Smilf — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 16:49:05 +0000

It is so tough to know the difference sometimes. My husband claims that no man can be “just friends” with a hot girl. I had all these guy friends - truly just friends - who I used to hang out with and he claimed that most of them wanted to sleep with me. I was like, um..no they don’t. But then I started thinking about it and oh yeah. I guess they kind of did send those signals from time to time. I think as women we just see people as great friends and nothing else a lot easier than guys sometimes so it’s hard to notice.

By: Jordyn

Jordyn — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:33:04 +0000

hmm…. I don’t know. A lot of times I think friends do act in ways that, if you didn’t know they were your friends AND JUST YOUR FRIENDS, could be interpreted as flirty.
So maybe the boyfriend is right.
But i don’t think it’s a case of being oblivious, at least not in a negative way.

…I don’t make any sense.

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 01:11:16 +0000

A little over a year ago I had a coworker who was really into me even though I had a boyriend. He knew I had a boyfriend. I talked about my boyfriend everyday at work. Yet he would still always invite me out for a drink, over to his place for a party, happy hour…. and it was never just a friend thing. He always got really flirty and a little too close. I got to the point where I felt uncomfortable around him outside of work because of it.

By: Paula

Paula — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:24:00 +0000

I’m also very bad for not noticing this. I’ve apparently given guys the wrong idea without even meaning to.

By: A Super Girl

A Super Girl — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:07:05 +0000

I am equally oblivious. Apparently my boyfriend’s friend has made comments about my body to my boyfriend and bf thinks he has hit on me openly. And he’s not the jealous type, either. Me? Never even knew it happened.

By: Princess Pointful

Princess Pointful — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:45:28 +0000

Andy- That is it exactly! It is almost as if, when you are friends, the very same behaviours you interpret as flirtatious in a new person become par for the course.

S’mat- ‘Tis true. I am not unaware of those who show an interest in my boyfriend– which doesn’t mean I need to be threatened by it. He is a pretty good catch, so I understand why girls might have crushes– but just as long as they are respectful!
I think that mild crushes are probably normal, honestly, though some people may be more comfortable discussing them than others. The notion that you go blind because you are in a relationship is a little obtuse!

By: s'mat

s'mat — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:32:08 +0000

You’d totally be able to peg girls’ veiled affections toward your boy too… it’s just one of those things. But oblivious, I don’t think so. Modest, perhaps. The other modes of behaviour are way less appealing: make the blatant referral to your boyfriend everytime you speak to another lad? When that’s done to me, I feel pretty awkward, like, hold up, i’m not hitting on you here, that’s flat-out presumptuous!
And of your bloke, he’s just being a good boyfriend! How do you feel about people having mild crushes on others, even though they’re in a relationship (and it doesn’t interfere or detract from said relationship)?