Comments on: Another one bites the dust http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/ Overcoming the Quarter-life Crisis Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:05:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Sandy http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-238 Sandy Tue, 23 Sep 2008 14:25:08 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-238 I think the one thing that struck me the quickest was when you commented "Why is everyone trying to rush things?" It used to be that people were getting married even younger than 22 and 23, and now the big change is that people are waiting much longer. So, really, the people aren't rushing much- it's how it used to be, and it probably just feels right to them. I've been in a serious relationship for about 2 and a half years, and I'm moving in with him this week. I'm not planning a wedding or anything of that sort, but I'm also not ruling it out in the future. Yes, I'm young, and I do have a full life ahead of me- but why not be in a relationship while I live it? While many marriages that start young don't work out, neither do many marriages that start at much later ages. I don't think there's a right or wrong to this- it's all about whenever it's right for the individual. I think the one thing that struck me the quickest was when you commented “Why is everyone trying to rush things?” It used to be that people were getting married even younger than 22 and 23, and now the big change is that people are waiting much longer. So, really, the people aren’t rushing much- it’s how it used to be, and it probably just feels right to them.
I’ve been in a serious relationship for about 2 and a half years, and I’m moving in with him this week. I’m not planning a wedding or anything of that sort, but I’m also not ruling it out in the future. Yes, I’m young, and I do have a full life ahead of me- but why not be in a relationship while I live it?
While many marriages that start young don’t work out, neither do many marriages that start at much later ages. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong to this- it’s all about whenever it’s right for the individual.

]]> By: Lauren http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-193 Lauren Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:59:28 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-193 I'm now 23 and am in the same situation as you - everyone I know is engaged or married! Planned pregnancies are even on the way. WHAT! And I get jealous. Because they get to put up all these pretty pictures on facebook and they get to be with someone forever and get to plan a wedding and they get to buy a house and they get to, get to, get to. Then I realize I have to step back and not worry so much. Because I get to do a lot, too! I get to travel the world. I get to continue my education. I get to be young and have fun. I do have a serious boyfriend. A live-together serious boyfriend that began with 2am hook-ups the last month of my senior year of college. I tried to put it to an end. I was living in Cambodia and he in NY. I didn't want to be in a relationship. But, it happened regardless. And that taught me not to run away from relationships too much. Just let them happen as they will. (Are any of your friends getting divorced yet? Some of mine are!) I’m now 23 and am in the same situation as you - everyone I know is engaged or married! Planned pregnancies are even on the way. WHAT!

And I get jealous. Because they get to put up all these pretty pictures on facebook and they get to be with someone forever and get to plan a wedding and they get to buy a house and they get to, get to, get to.

Then I realize I have to step back and not worry so much. Because I get to do a lot, too! I get to travel the world. I get to continue my education. I get to be young and have fun.

I do have a serious boyfriend. A live-together serious boyfriend that began with 2am hook-ups the last month of my senior year of college. I tried to put it to an end. I was living in Cambodia and he in NY. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. But, it happened regardless. And that taught me not to run away from relationships too much. Just let them happen as they will.

(Are any of your friends getting divorced yet? Some of mine are!)

]]> By: MeBeingRandom http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-186 MeBeingRandom Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:56:34 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-186 I was 25 when I met the man I now call my husband. Im 27 and we have only been married for 4 months. I met him at Wal-Mart when I was in no way at all looking for a relationship. He started out being, just someone to talk to and maybe go to a movie with. Two years later, we're married. These things happen when the time is right. When the stars are all aligned, or whatever. And like you, yes I was also jealous of all the engaged, married, and new parents that were my graduating class. I was also the last one of all my friends to get married. They told me how much they envied my freedom, and I was determined to enjoy it. And I did. And I'm still enjoying these few short years before the big 3-0! I was 25 when I met the man I now call my husband. Im 27 and we have only been married for 4 months. I met him at Wal-Mart when I was in no way at all looking for a relationship. He started out being, just someone to talk to and maybe go to a movie with. Two years later, we’re married.
These things happen when the time is right. When the stars are all aligned, or whatever. And like you, yes I was also jealous of all the engaged, married, and new parents that were my graduating class. I was also the last one of all my friends to get married. They told me how much they envied my freedom, and I was determined to enjoy it. And I did. And I’m still enjoying these few short years before the big 3-0!

]]> By: Lauren http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-183 Lauren Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:06:45 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-183 Don't worry so much about finding your "soul mate" I thought I had found mine, and thought I knew this guy so much after dating for 8 years. We were only married for 2 years and it ended. Be patient, be careful, and make sure you go with open eyes. I am just telling you to not be jealous of these people, they will face troubles too, and if you wait the right one will come around and when that comes you know it was worth the wait! Don’t worry so much about finding your “soul mate” I thought I had found mine, and thought I knew this guy so much after dating for 8 years. We were only married for 2 years and it ended. Be patient, be careful, and make sure you go with open eyes. I am just telling you to not be jealous of these people, they will face troubles too, and if you wait the right one will come around and when that comes you know it was worth the wait!

]]> By: kyla bea http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-180 kyla bea Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:15:21 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-180 oops! Never mind the last line :) oops! Never mind the last line :)

]]> By: kyla bea http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-179 kyla bea Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:14:37 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-179 I just wrote about this two days ago! My basic position is that there's nothing inherently great about being in a relationship or bring single - quality of life has to do with where you are in life & who you are. I'm 23 and getting married next week, & it's perfect for where I am. I'm a home owner, have been a full time worker & student at the same time for three years, and have been with my fiancé for 4 years, living together for 3.5 years. I don't think that's right or wrong, it's just me. Could we have waited 7 years for the wedding? Sure, but that doesn't change our commitment level or our relationship, just our legal status. One of my friends announced her engagement last week to a guy she's known for a short time. Neither of them have ever worked, both live at home, both are what I consider serial monogamosts. That scared me to death! But everyone is thrilled for the wedding, and from what I can see no one seems to be thinking about the marriage or what they're facing. A wedding can be an awesome party, so I think that's natural to be envious of, as is the idea of true love. But coming from a family with no relationships in tact I have no doubt that it's a gamble based on a lot if hope. I met my fiancé when I was I just wrote about this two days ago!

My basic position is that there’s nothing inherently great about being in a relationship or bring single - quality of life has to do with where you are in life & who you are.

I’m 23 and getting married next week, & it’s perfect for where I am. I’m a home owner, have been a full time worker & student at the same time for three years, and have been with my fiancé for 4 years, living together for 3.5 years. I don’t think that’s right or wrong, it’s just me. Could we have waited 7 years for the wedding? Sure, but that doesn’t change our commitment level or our relationship, just our legal status.

One of my friends announced her engagement last week to a guy she’s known for a short time. Neither of them have ever worked, both live at home, both are what I consider serial monogamosts. That scared me to death! But everyone is thrilled for the wedding, and from what I can see no one seems to be thinking about the marriage or what they’re facing.

A wedding can be an awesome party, so I think that’s natural to be envious of, as is the idea of true love. But coming from a family with no relationships in tact I have no doubt that it’s a gamble based on a lot if hope.

I met my fiancé when I was

]]> By: Smilf http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-176 Smilf Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:27:35 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-176 I can feel you on this. I came from a super small town where everyone married their high school loves right after we graduated. Um, whaaat?! I went away to college and didn't marry until I was 26, which might still seem young to some people. However. I got everything out of my system early on - the partying, the random dating, the random guys, the traveling, the job, etc. I was ready when I was 26. I was extremely lucky to have found my husband. Do I some days miss being single? Of course. But I remember getting to a point where I felt empty some nights and the feeling of knowing my husband is there is a great one. That's just me though. : ) I can feel you on this. I came from a super small town where everyone married their high school loves right after we graduated. Um, whaaat?! I went away to college and didn’t marry until I was 26, which might still seem young to some people. However. I got everything out of my system early on - the partying, the random dating, the random guys, the traveling, the job, etc. I was ready when I was 26. I was extremely lucky to have found my husband. Do I some days miss being single? Of course. But I remember getting to a point where I felt empty some nights and the feeling of knowing my husband is there is a great one. That’s just me though. : )

]]> By: Vicky http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-175 Vicky Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:07:50 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-175 I'm single. I quite like it most of the time, but sometimes it is difficult to see so many of my friends settle down. I wonder whether I'll ever find what they've got. But mostly I don't worry too much. It'll work out somehow :-) I’m single. I quite like it most of the time, but sometimes it is difficult to see so many of my friends settle down. I wonder whether I’ll ever find what they’ve got.
But mostly I don’t worry too much. It’ll work out somehow :-)

]]> By: Travis http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-173 Travis Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:51:58 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-173 After several failed attempts at relationships (total tally: 1 actually relationship and 3 almost-relationships) I'm happily engaged to a wonderful woman. Not quite sure how it happened. I guess we were on the right website at the right time. We've been going out since December of '05, and I proposed to her last February. We're trying to take things slow because neither one of us has much money. Plus marriage is something you do not want to rush. You may think you've struck gold when you first start going out, but then the little quirks suddenly appear. And since you're committing the rest of your life with that person, you need to know if you can live with those quirks. So bottom line: take your time and you'll do fine. After several failed attempts at relationships (total tally: 1 actually relationship and 3 almost-relationships) I’m happily engaged to a wonderful woman. Not quite sure how it happened. I guess we were on the right website at the right time.

We’ve been going out since December of ‘05, and I proposed to her last February. We’re trying to take things slow because neither one of us has much money. Plus marriage is something you do not want to rush. You may think you’ve struck gold when you first start going out, but then the little quirks suddenly appear. And since you’re committing the rest of your life with that person, you need to know if you can live with those quirks.

So bottom line: take your time and you’ll do fine.

]]> By: DomestiGal Jen http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/09/17/another-one-bites-the-dust/#comment-171 DomestiGal Jen Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:29:57 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=100#comment-171 Jess, OF COURSE it's not wrong to be jealous! As Jenn said above, as long as you balance that jealousy with more positive thoughts - that you are young and beautiful, smart, fabulous. You definitely have time, believe me! You have tons of time! I didn't find The Lawyer until I was 26 (and he was 30) - and when I think about it, I'm glad I had to go through dating so many other guys, because when I met The Lawyer for the first time, on our first date, I knew he was it. And there is no way I would have had that self-awareness without the years of dating experience that I had. So hang in there - and try to enjoy being single and dating as much as possible. At the very least, the more you date, the better your life stories will be! I once dated a guy whose father was a women for ten years. And that's just the tip of the iceberg... xo Jen Jess, OF COURSE it’s not wrong to be jealous! As Jenn said above, as long as you balance that jealousy with more positive thoughts - that you are young and beautiful, smart, fabulous. You definitely have time, believe me! You have tons of time! I didn’t find The Lawyer until I was 26 (and he was 30) - and when I think about it, I’m glad I had to go through dating so many other guys, because when I met The Lawyer for the first time, on our first date, I knew he was it. And there is no way I would have had that self-awareness without the years of dating experience that I had.

So hang in there - and try to enjoy being single and dating as much as possible. At the very least, the more you date, the better your life stories will be!

I once dated a guy whose father was a women for ten years. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg…

xo Jen

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